I got a comment from a guy on here, talking bout the "a&r" group they have on this blog, that review your songs, talking bout how not to "hold my breath" of getting a chance with them. It got me thinking..
I don't think I ever did think I'd get a chance from them, I didn't sign up with the expectation, I signed so i could stream my new songs and people - if they wanted - could hear them. I became disillusioned with the "industry" when I played to Sony when I was 18 and when I had further dealings with other labels. Not because I had bad experiences of "your no good dude", just because it's a total head fuck. Well it was for me at the time.
"We want this..."
"your backing bands not right..not COOL enough for you"
"you only have three killer HIT songs"
"your songs are too long.."
Ton's of "advice" that can echo and haunt your brain when you're trying to create. I got sick, what the fuck? I've always been sick, I coped to do a showcase, that went well, but gigs got too much for me, sure I could do it once, twice a month, but with getting these comments, which weren't terrible I guess I just couldn't be bothered anymore, I was too hurt. The industry made me bored of music and made me hate it, so i hid my guitars away and just lived.
Then sat in my parents house one christmas I heard a record, by The Hells, who used to rehearse in the studios I did and wow, i got the music demon back, i wrote and wrote and recorded hundreds and hundreds of songs (i have about 8,000 now) and why did I? for you? for the labels? No, for me, a fuck you I guess. These are my songs and hey, i fucking love em' and I could not live without writing at least 10-20 songs a week, I couldn't live without hearing my voice in my headphones drentched in echo, I couldn't bare to be not strapped to my guitar, cause it's my heart and my life and I doubt I'll get a deal and i doubt i'll do all the things my heros did, but it still makes me feel good, makes me feel better. I love it when you like it and buy it and want it as bad as I need to make it, but it's ok if you don't.
I've had so many near "happens" that the opertunity doesn't phase me now or shine a huge torch like it used to. I've had labels I never responded to again as it was head fuck, a label that went under from promoting one of their shit bands who they signed before finding me, a label who I didn't wanna sign to because it released one of the worst huge hits of this decade.
This can be enough, write, record put it on here, myspace, my site . Everyone whose's not in a&r and who aren't know it all "musicians" have liked it, people at the gigs I've done have liked it, people on youtube seem to dig it, so that's all I need, I write songs and people like them and download them and that's the coolest.
On a different note, i've decided to record and write everyday this month (started last night), so recorded some tonight, here's one song "Kiss Me" hope you like (:
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